I had my heart broken;

Haih,

Last few days had sucked.

Yesterday night i had a bad tummy ache followed by leg cramps & headache. Gawd. I went to sleep early ; around 11+. Soo, as i was sleeping i had the worse dream ever ever ever ever. Shit, that dream keeps replaying in my head, over & over & over again. What if the dream really happens? Really comes true? Then who would i go to for advice? To seek comfort? Sigh. I'm sorry, but the dream's private & confidential. It's just that, haih, i can't stop thinking about it, in the dream i cried my ass off in the end, i almost killed myself. Would i really do that if it really happens? Haih. The dream was so real, there was nothing unreal about it. I really felt how hurt it was when it actually happened, my heart is so sore, so numb, like theres a cut in themiddle of my heart, just because of that dream. Even tho it's just a dream, my heart still has a cut in the middle. Look, dream is one thing, but sometimes dreams comes true. Right? I don't want this dream to come true, haih, i don't wanna get my heart broken, I've never faced hurt and i don't ever want to. Have you ever thought you could fall oh-so-deeply with someone even tho you've only been with that someone for two months? Sigh, i love my baby too much to even dream of losing him. After waking up from that dream, the first thing i did was cry, while crying i felt my heart beat so fast, then i decided to take my phone to check the time, i saw 3 messages from baby, that was the happiest moment i've had in ages. After waking up i still thought the dream was real, but after seeing the messages i knew that it was just a dream, only a dream. I quickly sms-ed baby. Feeling so sore inside, i got a reply. I was so glad it was only a dream. I continued crying to let my feelings out. I dont know why but, my tears couldn't stop falling. My cheeks were so wet & i wiped it away on my pillow. I slowly cuddled back into bed while hugging the pillow, hopefully that dream wouldn't come back again. Sighh. I'm so hurt by that dream, until now i'm feeling so hurt inside, so very hurt. Though it didn't happen, everything was fake but the dream was soo real that it hurt me so much. Imagine your boyfriend cheating on you with his ex which he went through alot with? Omg. Dosen't it hurt? I know, it hurts so much.

Omg i feel like crying all over again. Why is life so hard?

EDIT*

Well, few weeks ago, i guess it was two weeks ago, baby gave me this necklace which is pretty cuteee, i haven't took a picture of it tho so if i do, i'd post it here. Oh and just 2 days ago ; 14th May O9 - Thursday was me & baby's 2 month anni. Gawd, it's just so fast isn't it? Sigh, i'm happy that were two months but the dream i had last night has been disturbing me ever since. It's like, it keeps ringing in my head. Trying to show me something, giving me a sign? To be careful, beware? What?! What kinda signal is that? I ain't want anyone telling me to beware? Like pfft, cmon it's not like it would really happen, sigh, would it? Theres no where else i can let this out. Yes i know, it was only a dream, but why was it so real, so hurtful and worse, so very possible. It hurts to know,

Tell me, will my dream come true? Jeez, i really need an answer. I knw, i keep telling myself that it's JUST A DREAM, why can't i get over it? I've been thinking about it all day & i can't stop, i might just drop down in tears any minute now. God, this is killing me, when will this trauma end? When will all this become back to where it stopped? Gah, the worse part is that it is so, so, so, so, possible. Sigh. My friends keep telling me to calm down & it's all just a dream. Dang, i never knew a dream could drive me this far? Grr. I hate it, i hate life at this point, i hate everything. Except for baby, because he's the only one there for me. But the only reason why i'm going crazy is because of him. Meh, life sarks shit ass.

I've been driving on this road too long,

Just tryna find my way back home,

The old me's Dead & Gone,

Dead & Gone.

Super Duper Long Boring Survehh.

What's your full name?
- Andrea Mei Yesudian
What do your parents call you?
- Drea
What do your grandparents call you?
- Ana
What do your friends call you?
- Drea, Andrea.
Do you like your name?
- Okay2 laaa.
If you could change your name, would you?
- Sure.
What would you change it to?
- Keeleigh.
Do you like pet names (i.e. sweetie, honey, babe, etc.)?
- love :)
Does it bother you when people use your middle name?
- Not at all :)
Who named you?
- God.
Are you named after someone?
- Nopee. Heheh.


Age and Education Questions


When is your birthday?
- 15 March
How old are you?
- 14 this year.
What's your astrological sign?
- Pieces
Do you read your horoscope?
- Hardly
Is it usually right?
- dnt knw.
Are you still in school? What Grade are you in?
- 9th Grade.
Did you go to preschool? Where?
- Yes. SSC. :D
Where did you go to elementary school?
- SSC.
Where did you go to high school?
- SSC.
Where did you go to College or where do you want to go to college?
- not yet. (:
What did you study or what do you want to study?
- ~_~
What do you want to become?
- Accountant.
How many years of postsecondary training does it require?
- no idea.


Physical Appearance Questions


How tall are you?
- 5'3 .
How much do you weigh?
- around 43kg.
What size shoes do you wear?
- 6 ?
What color is your hair?
- Dark Brown.
What color are your eyes?
- Dark Brown
Describe your skin. (color?, dryness?, etc.)
- Tan.
Where do you buy most of your clothes?
- Anywhere.
What's your favorite store to shop for clothes?
- Any.
Where do you buy most of your shoes and accessories?
- anywhere.
What are you wearing right now?
- Black striped shirt & white pants.
Do you have glasses/contacts?
- I want color contactlenses :(
Do you have braces?
- No.
Do you currently have any casts or splints?
- Nope.
Do you currently have any band-aids on?
- Nope.
Do you have any piercings?
- Yes.
How many and where?
- Three. Ears.
Do you have any tattoos?
- No.
How many, where, and of what?
- None.
Do you have any jewelry on?
- The necklace baby bought for me.
Who do you look like? Mom or Dad?
- Ain't got a clue.


Favorites


Color?
- Black.
Food?
- Any.
Drink?
- Starbuckszxzx.
Place?
- Baby's room. Wee.
Car?
- None.
Singer?
- nil
Band?
- Green Day / Paramore / Fall Out Boy
Actor?
- Alex Pettyfer, Aaron Johnson
Actress?
- Kiera Knightly
Broadway show?
- Dnt watch broadway.
Movie?
- Any.
Television show?
- 90210 , Desperate Housewives , True Blood
Restaurant?
- Any.
Store?
- Any.
Song?
- Hatin' on the club - Rihanna
Radio Station?
- Hitz & Fly.
Television Station?
- Mtv , HBO
Website?
- blogger, myspace, friendster.


Love Questions


What's your current relationship status?
- Taken
Are you happy with it?
- Very :)
Do you like someone?
- i have a boyf?
Are you in love with any one?
- Baby. (:
Does that person love you back?
- Yeees.
When was the last time you saw the person you like?
- Baby? On friday :)
When will you see him/her again?
- Tomorrow :D
Does he/she know that you love/like them?
- Yees.
How many serious relationships have you had?
- -.-''
How many people have you kissed?
- Guys? One.
How long was your longest relationship?
- 10 long painful months.
How short was your shortest relationship?
- a week?
Are you a jealous person?
- Not really.
Have you ever dated a jealous person?
- Yes.
Have you ever been heartbroken?
- :\
Have you ever broken someone's heart?
- Sigh, yeah.
Have you ever gotten in trouble for PDA (at school)?
- Nope.
Have you ever been told to "get a room"?
- Nah.
Are you a virgin?
- Yeah
Do you plan to be a virgin when you get married?
- No.
Do you think abstinence is a good idea?
- o.o
Do you think today's teenagers are too exposed to sex?
- Yep.


Who/What's the last...

...thing you ate?
- Noodles
...thing you drank?
- Water
...thing you read?
- Words on the computer screen.
...thing you wrote?
- Quiz
...thing you typed?
- this.
...thing you said?
- "i love you too"
...person you talked to (in person)?
- mum
...person you called?
- Baby
...person who called you?
- Baby
...missed call?
- Heena
...voice mail?
- none
...person you talked to (on the phone)?
- Baby
...person you IM'd?
- Aleesha.
...person you emailed?
- none.
...person you messaged on myspace?
- Emir.
...person you facebook'd?
- Issac.
...person you commented on myspace or facebook?
- Emir
...person you friend requested?
- I don't add people.
...person who friend requested you?
- narbs.
...person you texted?
- Baby
...person who texted you?
- Baby
...person you hugged?
- Baby.
...person you kissed?
- Baby.
...person you saw?
- mum
...person you heard?
- Baby.
...thing you did (other than type)?
- On the phone.
...song you heard?
- Mad - Ne-Yo
...song you sung?
- Your Call.
...person you thought about?
- Baby.
...thing/person you dreamt about?
- Colored contact-lens.
...person/thing you cried about?
- Baby.


Your Surroundings


Are you at home? (if not, where are you?)
- In my room.
What room are you in?
- my room.
Is anyone else in the room?
- Baby. ^_^
Is anyone else in the building/house?
- mum, sister.
What is the current light source?
- sunlight thru the window.
What is the closest thing to you that is red?
- Phone.
...orange?
- nth orange around here.
...yellow?
- Book.
...green?
- Nth
...blue?
- Socks.
...purple?
- Shirt.
...white?
- Door.
...black?
- Hair.
...grey?
- Bed spread.
...brown?
- The floor.
What color are the walls of the room you're in?
- Purple.
What color is the ceiling?
- White.
What color is the floor?
- Brown
Is it clean or messy?
- messy.
Is it a small or large room?
- Enough for me & baby. heeheehee.
How many windows are there?
- 3
How many doors are their?
- 1


Your House


Who lives there?
- family.
Do you have any pets?
- yes.
What kind?
- a dog.
Do they have names?
- Arthur.
What are they?
- Dog
How old are they?
- 4.
Do they stay inside or outside?
- inside & out.
How many rooms are in your house?
- 5
How many bedrooms?
- 4
How many bathrooms?
- 5
How many closets?
- idk.
How many floors?
-2
How many sets of stairs?
- 1
What color is the outside?
- ?
How many exits are there?
- idk.
What room do you enter when you come inside?
- Living Room.
Do you have a separate dining room?
- Yes.
Do you have a separate laundry room?
- No.
Do you know when it was built?
- No.
Do you share your room?
- With Baby, woohoo.
Do you share a bathroom?
- No.
Is your room clean?
- Somtimes.
Is your bed made?
- No.
Do you have a tv in your room?
- Yes.
Do you have a computer in your room?
- Yes.
What size bed do you have?
- Queen.
What do you have on your walls?
- Mirror, LOADS OF POSTERS.
When you wake up, what's the first thing you see?
- light ?
How many pillows are on your bed?
- 6
How many blankets?
- 1


In a perfect lover


Hair color?
- Dark, with highlights.
Eye color?
- Don't care
Height?
- taller than me :D
Weight?
- Not too light, not to heavy.
Style?
- Semi-Formal.
Personality?
- outgoing, sporty, makes me laugh, shy at times, caring & understanding.
Have you ever met someone like this?
- Yes.
Do you think it's realistic that you will?
- ?


Your Future


Do you want to get married?
- Yes.
Do you want to have children?
- Yes.
How many children do you want?
- 2?
What kind of car do you want to drive?
- Volkswagon Beetle / Mini Cooper :)
Where do you want to live?
- anywhere.
Where do you want to get married?
- Anywhre.
When do you want to get married?
- 10 to12 years from now?
Where do you want to honeymoon?
- Everywhere :D


Your friends


Best friend?
- Nur Heena bt. Mohd Ashraf & Nor Aliah bt Mohd Zaini Amran & Amanda Chen Shu Sian. Yay!
One you've known the longest?
- Aliah & Amanda.
One you've know the shortest?
- Heena.
One you can trust the most?
- All.
One you tell the most to?
- All.
One you see the most?
- Heena & Amanda.
One you see the least?
- Aliah.
Funniest?
- Aliah.
Most serious?
- We're not serious :D
Smartest?
- Aliah & Heena.
Stupidest?
- Me -.-
Most talented?
- All.
Most creative?
- Aliah.
Skinniest?
- Amanda.
Tallest?
- Aliah / Heena / Me
Shortest?
- Amanda.
Hottest?
- Heena.
Ugliest?
- ....
Nicest?
- All.
Meanest?
- Mee . Woohoo.
Most two-faced?
- None.
Biggest gossip?
- All of us.
One you turn to for love advice?
- All.
One you turn to for fashion advice?
- Aliah.
One you turn to for something to do?
- Amanda.
One you text the most?
- Heena.
One you call the most?
- Heena.
How many AIM buddies do you have?
- None.
How many friendster friends?
- almost a thousand. around 950 ?
How many facebook friends?
- heck loads.
How many contacts in your phone?
- loads.
How many contacts in your email?
- too many -.-





Currently


Hearing...
- Boom Boom Pow.
Seeing...
- My lappy.
Smelling...
- Air.
Tasting...
- Baby's lips. Wee.
Feeling (physically)
- Warm.
Feeling (psychologically)
- Bored.
Waiting for...
- Nothing
Doing...
- Survey
Thinking about...
- How much i needa shower right nao.
Wishing...
- for nth.


1] Post these rules.
2] Each tagged person should post 8 facts of themselves.
3] Tagged people should write a journal\blog about these facts.
4] In the end tag and name 8 people.


I tag everyone on my links. :)