I had my heart broken;

Haih,

Last few days had sucked.

Yesterday night i had a bad tummy ache followed by leg cramps & headache. Gawd. I went to sleep early ; around 11+. Soo, as i was sleeping i had the worse dream ever ever ever ever. Shit, that dream keeps replaying in my head, over & over & over again. What if the dream really happens? Really comes true? Then who would i go to for advice? To seek comfort? Sigh. I'm sorry, but the dream's private & confidential. It's just that, haih, i can't stop thinking about it, in the dream i cried my ass off in the end, i almost killed myself. Would i really do that if it really happens? Haih. The dream was so real, there was nothing unreal about it. I really felt how hurt it was when it actually happened, my heart is so sore, so numb, like theres a cut in themiddle of my heart, just because of that dream. Even tho it's just a dream, my heart still has a cut in the middle. Look, dream is one thing, but sometimes dreams comes true. Right? I don't want this dream to come true, haih, i don't wanna get my heart broken, I've never faced hurt and i don't ever want to. Have you ever thought you could fall oh-so-deeply with someone even tho you've only been with that someone for two months? Sigh, i love my baby too much to even dream of losing him. After waking up from that dream, the first thing i did was cry, while crying i felt my heart beat so fast, then i decided to take my phone to check the time, i saw 3 messages from baby, that was the happiest moment i've had in ages. After waking up i still thought the dream was real, but after seeing the messages i knew that it was just a dream, only a dream. I quickly sms-ed baby. Feeling so sore inside, i got a reply. I was so glad it was only a dream. I continued crying to let my feelings out. I dont know why but, my tears couldn't stop falling. My cheeks were so wet & i wiped it away on my pillow. I slowly cuddled back into bed while hugging the pillow, hopefully that dream wouldn't come back again. Sighh. I'm so hurt by that dream, until now i'm feeling so hurt inside, so very hurt. Though it didn't happen, everything was fake but the dream was soo real that it hurt me so much. Imagine your boyfriend cheating on you with his ex which he went through alot with? Omg. Dosen't it hurt? I know, it hurts so much.

Omg i feel like crying all over again. Why is life so hard?

EDIT*

Well, few weeks ago, i guess it was two weeks ago, baby gave me this necklace which is pretty cuteee, i haven't took a picture of it tho so if i do, i'd post it here. Oh and just 2 days ago ; 14th May O9 - Thursday was me & baby's 2 month anni. Gawd, it's just so fast isn't it? Sigh, i'm happy that were two months but the dream i had last night has been disturbing me ever since. It's like, it keeps ringing in my head. Trying to show me something, giving me a sign? To be careful, beware? What?! What kinda signal is that? I ain't want anyone telling me to beware? Like pfft, cmon it's not like it would really happen, sigh, would it? Theres no where else i can let this out. Yes i know, it was only a dream, but why was it so real, so hurtful and worse, so very possible. It hurts to know,

Tell me, will my dream come true? Jeez, i really need an answer. I knw, i keep telling myself that it's JUST A DREAM, why can't i get over it? I've been thinking about it all day & i can't stop, i might just drop down in tears any minute now. God, this is killing me, when will this trauma end? When will all this become back to where it stopped? Gah, the worse part is that it is so, so, so, so, possible. Sigh. My friends keep telling me to calm down & it's all just a dream. Dang, i never knew a dream could drive me this far? Grr. I hate it, i hate life at this point, i hate everything. Except for baby, because he's the only one there for me. But the only reason why i'm going crazy is because of him. Meh, life sarks shit ass.

I've been driving on this road too long,

Just tryna find my way back home,

The old me's Dead & Gone,

Dead & Gone.